Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I actually pay taxes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why did my ex replace me so fast?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I can read

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why do some people dislike rap and hip hop music despite there being poor quality music in every genre?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

China Blasts Laser 80,000 Miles to the Moon in Broad Daylight – A First in Space History! - Indian Defence Review

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Apollo astronauts discovered the moon is covered in tiny orange glass beads. Now we finally know why. - Live Science

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

If our normal body temperature is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, why do we perceive weather in the 90s as "hot?"

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

How common is it for siblings to fight over their parents' inheritance money? What is the best way to handle this type of situation?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Are narcissists happy people generally?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What is the best way to get my wife to become a hotwife?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why do atheists love to preach against Abrahamic religions and mock God? Even if they do not fear the eternal fire of hell, pious Muslims will certainly not leave them alone and will take brutal revenge until they surrender and repent of their sins.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Scientists release a statement after identifying a strange object in space emitting signals to Earth every 44 minutes. - Farmingdale Observer

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Why isn't bestiality illegal in most states? If children can't consent, then animals DEFINITELY can't consent. Why is being a pedophile a crime but zoophilia is not?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I can count

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I found out I have cancer—I have not told my family. We can’t afford the treatment anyway. Should I just say nothing and let nature take its course?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why would my nipples hurt when I touch them?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy bullshit

Aged neurons don’t respond normally to stress: Study - Parkinson's News Today

I see through liars

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Nutritionists Rank The Best (And Worst) Packaged Deli Meats For Your Health - HuffPost

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t